Our Bedroom verses His and Her Bedrooms

I was married very young, and I divorced quite young. That marriage took away my trust in the sanctity of marriage. I have never remarried or even allowed myself to get that far in the process.  I had one marriage proposal around 30 years ago when I ran into an old boyfriend on the streets of downtown Los Angeles. By then, it was too late. I turned him down.

I have been single for a very long time. I am used to living alone. I enjoy my own company, but there are times when I feel something is missing in my life; and I start to wonder if  it is possible to even share my life with someone when I am now a woman in my 60’s.  I live in a place where there are mostly couples. I love where I live, and I never see myself moving from here, but that part of me wants to share that life with someone. There are actually 3 sides to me. One side of me embraces the “staying single” side of life, and exploring the adventures of my soul. The next side of me  embraces the “Separate Spaces” theory for couples living together or in a long term relationship. I will never marry again; however, if I ever lived with anyone (which seemed highly unlikely to me at this age in my life),  we would have to have a big home where we had separate bathrooms and then “our bedroom” and then his and her bedrooms for space. There is also the side of me that wants to experience and feel a deep connection to a man. True intimacy and connection  means keeping the lines of communication open. It is absolutely 100% essential for me in a relationship. If  communication is not consistent and there are long periods of silence, there is no relationship. How can there be intimacy without communication? I have to wonder if the relationship is being sabotaged intentionally. Now I am NOT a woman who needs to be called everyday; however, that is wonderful when it happens.  When the communication lines are open, no matter how much time goes by between seeing each other, I feel cared for, and I feel like he is nurturing my soul. It rekindles the aliveness with me, and I become the Goddess wanting to give and nurture my man in every way. True intimacy includes falling asleep with someone and waking up in the morning with him beside me. This is something that I love if I feel a deep connection to someone ( which is rare) It needs to be a connection where  I will be enough for him, and he will be enough for me.